#10 Irish Car Bomb
An Irish Car Bomb is an American beer cocktail that is drunk as a bomb shot, similar to a boilermaker. It is made with Irish stout, Irish cream, and Irish whiskey. To make the drink, whiskey is floated on top of Irish Cream in a shot glass, and the shot glass is then dropped into the stout. Once mixed, it must be drunk quickly because it will curdle. While Kahlua was part of the original recipe, it is often excluded from the drink today. Some refer to that original recipe as a Belfast Car Bomb.
#9 Long Island Iced Tea
Looks so deceptively refreshing, doesn't it? Only the most ridiculous place in all of America could loan its name to a drink that basically involves pouring everything behind the bar into one glass. For the record, a traditional Long Island is made from vodka, gin, tequila, rum, triple sec, sour mix and just a splash of cola. It tastes surprisingly un-revolting and (less surprisingly) makes you do some pretty stupid things after drinking it.
#8 Venti Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino
Make a guess what it might be.It's not dessert! It's coffee! Riiiiight. Only Starbucks could convince the skinny jean wearing, yogalates practicing, yuppie women of America that it's OK to buy a drink that has more calories than a bucket of lard. But if it's served in a cup, it doesn't count as food.
#7 The Bacontini
A Bacon Martini, also known as Bacontini, Pig On The Rocks or a Bloody Bacon Martini, is a cocktail that consists of bacon-infused vodka and is served with a garnish that can include ingredients such as strips of bacon, bacon bits and olives. Variants may include the addition of Bloody Mary mix. While not a proper vodka martini, which consists of vodka and vermouth, the Bacon Martini is in line with the modern trend of calling any straight liquor in a martini glass a "martini," such as the Saketini or other variations.
#6 Exercise Beer
But what to do the morning after you wake up and realize you've consumed nine shots of vodka and half-a-pound of bacon? Obviously, that's when you switch over to exercise beer. The latest trend in American brews is super-low calorie beers like MGD 64, Select 55, and Michelob Ultra, which is my favorite because the ads for it actually show people drinking beer and then exercising. Finally, a way to get wasted every night and still lose weight, because you wouldn't want to do something as drastic as, say, drink a little less beer.
#5 Pepsi Max
Speaking of our beer consumption, if you've ever wondered why American dudes insist on drinking the hoppy stuff so consistently, it's because our non-alcoholic beverage options are so limited. Drinking soda will make you fat, and drinking diet soda, of course, will make you gay. Thank god the considerate folks over at Pepsi were wise enough to invent Pepsi Max, a sugar-free soda made just for males. I wouldn't be caught dead drinking Diet Pepsi (how embarrassing!) But a new version of Diet Pepsi with twice as much caffeine.
#4 Cosmopolitan
A cosmopolitan, or informally a cosmo, is a cocktail made with vodka, triple sec, cranberry juice, and freshly squeezed lime juice or sweetened lime juice.The origin of the cosmopolitan is disputed. It is widely believed that the drink was created independently by different bartenders since the 1970s. Generally, people have recognized that John Caine brought the drink to San Francisco around 1987 from Ohio. The same year in Manhattan, the internationally recognized version of the cocktail was created by Toby Cecchini, based on a poorly described version of Cheryl Cook's creation.
#3 Jell-O Shots
And of course there's the drink designed for those for thought the Cosmopolitan was too sophisticated, too natural looking, and didn't taste enough like candy. We suggest red, white and blue Jell-O shots this Independence Day.
#2 Bottled Tap Water
OK, fine, the French may have been bottling their water to wash down their Turduckens for centuries, but at least they claim their shit is from magical springs or whatnot. Only in America could you turn something that falls from the sky on a regular basis into an $8-billion-a-year-industry. The best example has got to be the entrepreneur who recently thought to bottle New York City's acclaimed tap water, and sell it in stores...in New York. Seriously, people?
#1 Coca-Cola
What do you get when you mix sugar, phosphoric acid, coca leaf, kola nut, caffeine, caramel color, glycerin and some other flavors so much grosser than that they have to remain "secret?" Why, the most popular drink in the history of the country of course! Pretty crazy that this is something we put in our bodies rather than use to clean rust off our cars. Oh wait, it can do that, too. Yum.
